I grew up in a family with incredible standards. My father was a nationally known legal scholar. His name was synonymous with brilliance. Both of my brothers were continually recognized for their academic accomplishments.
I think I decided to be the family’s ‘party girl’ to avoid the competition.
It wasn’t until I went away to school, away from the pressure, that I began to enjoy my learning. I found academic success on my own terms. By the time I was in school for my 2nd Masters’ degree, I had received multiple awards for my writing.
But after almost a year of the publication of Rain Dodging, I find I am struggling with the marketing side.
Fear of failure?
Did you know there is an actual term for it? It is atychiphobia, (pronounced a-tick-e-phobia) kakorraphiophobia (pronounced kak-or-rhaph-io-phobia) is the fear of rejection.
Guy Winch, Ph.D., suggests:
- It is important to accept that failure makes you feel both fear and shame and to find trusted others with whom you can discuss these feelings. Bringing these feelings to the surface can help prevent you from expressing them through unconscious efforts to sabotage yourself. Reassurance and empathy from trusted others can bolster your feelings of self-worth while minimizing the threat of disappointing them.
- Identify aspects of the task or preparation that are in your control and focus on those.
Author and investor Tim Ferriss advises a “fear list.” He calls it “fear-setting,” creating a checklist of what you are afraid to do and what you fear will happen if you do it. Doing this enabled him to tackle some of his hardest challenges, resulting in some of his biggest successes.
Career transition coach Susan Peppercorn offers this heartening reminder: It’s when you feel comfortable that you should be fearful; it’s a sign that you’re not stepping far enough out of your comfort zone.
You can’t let your failures define you. Let your failures teach you.” –Barack Obama
I am a strong proponent of mindful breathing: Entrepreneur Vanessa Loder suggests that the next time you notice yourself feel afraid of something not working out, sit quietly by yourself, set your timer for two minutes, and start taking deep breaths. Notice where you feel tightness or tension in your body, and simply breathe deeply into that area for two minutes. The more you do this, the more you will trigger your body’s natural calm response and you will move through fear with greater ease.
“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” –Confucius
Can you relate? Let me know!
https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/fear-of-failure.htm
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201306/10-signs-you-might-have-fear-failure
https://hbr.org/2018/12/how-to-overcome-your-fear-of-failure
