Sometimes I Sat on the Grass

By Susan January 5, 20232 Comments

Sometimes I Sat on the Grass

When Jesse was born, we lived in Tarzana, 25 miles west of L.A, We lived across from the park. Beyond the basketball courts and baseball field was the sand and the jungle gyms and the balance beams—and of course, the swings. I would take Jesse every day, first in her stroller when all she could do was sit in the sand. Once she could walk, she would waddle over. Sometimes I sat on the grass, sometimes I sat in the sand, sometimes I sat on a bench, with the Latina nannies. Sometimes I was lonely.

Early twilight, the moon would come up from the horizon. We would sit; I would sing to Jesse, “The stars at night were big and bright—boom—boom boom—boom, Deep in the heart of Texas,” then eventually a segue into “I see the moon and the moon sees me.” Over and over and over again. And feel the love only a mother knows, no matter how lonely.

With my mother, circa 1955

With my mother, circa 1955

“My mother was like sand.
The kind that warms you on a beach when you come shivering out of the cold water.
The kind that clings to your body,
leaving its impression on your skin
to remind you where you’ve been
and where you’ve come from.”
–Clare Vanderpool
Moon Over Manifest

You are lucky if you had a mom like that.

circa 1960

Last updated on January 5, 2023

In 2006, researching for my last literature paper at Oxford, I stumbled onto the late 17th-century court of Queen Mary of Modena, consort to James II. I was intrigued because she had so many female writers in her court—rare for the 17th century. Before heading back to the states, I met with my professor, Peter McCullough, to discuss a book idea stemming from that research. Peter had stunned me with his compliment of my paper—“One of the most beautiful Bread Loaf papers I’ve read . . . The work of an artist by an artist.” He was encouraging about my book idea and later agreed to be one of my Beta readers. Rain Dodging follows my quest for a sense of Mary’s spaces, to breathe the same air, to imagine their lives, visiting palaces and manor houses in England and Scotland and exploring their sublime back roads. Rain Dodging is a kaleidoscope of memoir and mystery, a collage of images and events. As I travel through Britain, I take you on a journey through my life and into a 17th-century royal court. You'll watch the connections unfold, from tales of a troubled childhood to wild days of college and young adulthood, the music scenes in Los Angeles & Nashville, and to my growth as mother, teacher, writer, lover, and solo traveler.

2 Comments

Karen H Loughridge

January 6, 2023, 5:54 pm

Loved reading about the swings and sand, Sue!
- Susan
  
  January 6, 2023, 9:33 pm
  
  I am so glad you are following me! Thank you.

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