On the way to a Lake Michigan cottage between Frankfort and Arcadia–to escape Tennessee heat and humidity for a few weeks–we stopped in Traverse City, my father’s hometown. I wanted to visit my grandmother’s grave in Oakwood Cemetery. We found her right away. The Jewish section is segregated by a boundary of high boxwood bushes. Interesting?
I placed a pebble on top of Bubbe’s headstone. I visited everyone else, my grandfather, Sol, and my beloved great-aunt and great-uncle, Max and Brucha, Aunt Shirley, and my great great grandmother M’noucha, 1887-1945, placing pebbles on all of the markers. Returning to Bubbe’s grave, tears.
Paraphrased from: My Jewish Learning.com
The leaving stones or pebbles on a grave is an ancient Jewish tradition. Origins are unclear. Since this is a custom or tradition rather than a commandment, over time many interpretations were established.
During the times of The Temple in Jerusalem, between the 10th and 6th centuries BCE, Jewish priests (kohanim) became ritually impure if they came within four feet of a corpse, so people began marking graves with piles of rocks in order to indicate to passing kohanim that they should stay back.
The Talmud mentions that after a person dies her soul continues to dwell for a while in the grave where she was buried. Putting stones on a grave keeps the soul down in this world. Another interpretation suggests that the stones keep demons and golems from getting into the graves. Flowers though beautiful will eventually die. A stone will not die and can symbolize the permanence of memory and legacy.
Do whatever thing feels most meaningful to you.
HTTPS://WWW.MYJEWISHLEARNING.COM/ARTICLE/ASK-THE-EXPERT-STONES-ON-GRAVES/
We are at our cottage and spent a glorious afternoon on our deserted beach, dunes cascading down.
My mother’s spirit animal, a seagull, shows up everyday.
I left her last year ‘in these parts’ so I am not really surprised.
